Typically, the mating process for bears and beetles begins with the female leaving a scent to attract a male mate. Squirrels are similar but when the male picks up on the scent, he chases her at mind boggling speeds through trees, then hits his paw against the bark. Female fish flaunt their pelvic fin which attracts males.
If people adopted these traits, navigating the world of dating might just make sense. But, we all know that’s simply not the case because people mate via the use of complicated, lengthy and bizarre strategies, which is why it’s known as, “the game.” Here in L.A., we call it “The Dating Scene” — and I’m here to tell you about it in 500-800 words. My preface…I’m a dude and have a, ya know, hee haw — so, this article may be somewhat biased.
The dating scene in L.A. is bizarre because it’s perhaps the world’s epicenter for aspiring entrepreneurs, massive success, profound failures, loss of identity and huge egos. It’s connected with fads, trends, horrendous traffic, busy lifestyles, and perhaps every challenge one can fathom. It sounds daunting, but since dating is a “game,” we can use game strategy.
The first thing to know is that every city is different and the difference may be night and day, during night and day. West Hollywood for instance is a gorgeous sunny atmosphere with friendly people walking about, casual cafes, and tons of eye candy. When the sun goes down, it’s a raging club scene using more electricity than the Vegas strip. Venice is a hot spot for tourists, art, and culture during the day and has a variety of deadly sins to choose from at night. It’s rated G and R, respectively. Melrose is a shopping hub during the day and can be as fun as kissing a passed out drunk at night unless you’re willing to drop several pretty pennies. Investigate different neighborhoods and find some you fancy.
Dating in L.A. is random and unpredictable. You can take control of the dating scene and be light years ahead of your competition if you have a strong sense of who you are and who you’re looking for, where you’re going in life, and what you want. If you think dating is a numbers game, talk to as many people as possible, which will help you overcome fears you may have or hone your direction of who and what you’re really chasing after. If you see someone you’d like to meet, make a signal (don’t use smoke flares), and laugh at rejection as it’s never a personal insult.
Guys, make it clear up front what you want. Speak and act like you know you should’ve yesterday and are getting another chance to be who you really are, today. Be honest, blunt, funny, daring, provocative, amusing, enthusiastic, happy, and direct. If you’re in a lousy mood, say so. Be expressive and bold. Evaluate who she is with body language, clothing, friends, and her tone. We have two ears and two eyes yet only one mouth. Read and watch her more than you speak. Don’t use cheesy pick up lines— be like Hank from Breaking Bad. Act like a real man by being a rock, decisive, strong, yet chivalrous. Men find answers and call the shots. So, decide if you’re on the cross or bangin’ in the nails .
Girls, there’s plenty of T&A in this town, so make your best qualities shine. Don’t be shy or filtered. Don’t lead us on to boost your ego or let us buy you a drink then walk away. Women usually have stellar communication skills and are more intuitive than men, so give him time to prove himself and guide the conversation if you think he’s worthy. You may be surprised how much a guy changes from one atmosphere to the next. Keep in mind, women are complicated and very challenging in this wacky town. If you’re not interested, just so say. Don’t be that girl that never responds. Giving someone your phone number then ignoring them is not cool. Moreover, men sometimes need to be beat over the head to get the message or learn the lesson, so don’t be afraid to help us out. There’s a massive community of twisted dating data online that entails pickup training out the wazoo and our world has become slightly feminized, which is why some men forget how to act like men.
We all want to mate like bears and beetles and have fun like squirrels chasing each other through the trees. But, as usual, we’ve gotta muck everything up and make things complicated. Be the person who brings happiness wherever they go, not whenever they go. I’m not crazy enough to be a therapist, I’m just a wake up call.
Great Places for Singles in LA
- Mad Bull’s Tavern
- Bar 4100
- Sur Lounge
- Attending art gallery opening receptions in Venice— see L.A. weekly for a big list.
Hope this helps!